Our top gaming “Weapons of Mass Destruction”

Whether you’re playing as Desmond Miles, Master Chief Petty Officer John-117, or Bayonetta you will find during the course of the game various pieces of weaponry to help you deliver a sound beating to the bad guys, ensuring that the “Just and Righteous” come out on top, triumphant, and particularly pleased with themselves. Some of those weapons are simple “tools of the job”, but some are almost works of art, some are hilariously funny, and some are just so damned effective that when you pull the trigger you sit there mouth open, “Whoa. OWNED!”.

So what we have here are our top ten pieces of gaming destruction based on originality, slick style, or sheer firepower.

Land Shark Gun:

There’s nothing more terrifying then a Carcharodon Carcharias (aka Great White) heading towards you with menacing intent, but if you’re a land based minion of an evil overlord then you have nothing to fear, right? Wrong! In Moon Planet Studios comical epic, Armed and Dangerous, our chief “good guy”, Roman, has the grand opportunity of grabbing himself the appropriately titled, “Land Shark Gun”. First invented to clean out the “Onion Mines of Midden”, the Land Shark Gun releases a baby Land Shark. When equipped, a squeeze of the trigger produces a non too impressive bang, but the aftermath is brilliant, a shark fin weaves its way through the landscape, disappears from view, and then suddenly up pops a Great White right under the enemies feet in true “Jaws” style. Warrghh om nom nom.

Topsy Turvy Bomb:

From the wickedly twisted minds of Forge Labs in Armed and Dangerous, comes the Topsy Turvy Bomb. First impressions are deceptive as it looks like a giant corkscrew, and going in for hand to hand combat with corkscrew against baddies equipped with machine guns seems like a cunning plan only Baldric could concoct. Only once the cork screw has surprisingly been locked into the ground is its utter genius revealed. Once in place the world turns upside down and all those who dare to stand in your way fall from the ground to their demise. Bwuhahaha, excellent!

Redeemer:

Even if you couldn’t hit a cows backside with a banjo, it was always reassuring to know that the Redeemer could be found in certain locations in Unreal Tournament, and if you were the first to nab it, the sheer size magnitude of overkill would assure you of victory. Unless of course, you were stood a little too close to your target, too close being defined as half the length of the map you were on. In short the Redeemer, A portable thermonuclear missile launcher, was the ultimate weapon but with a twist. Although pulling the trigger could end up in indiscriminate carnage, there was a secondary firing mode that actually allowed the operator to launch a guided nuclear warhead that they could pilot remotely, via an onboard camera. This option I discovered after a particularly savage game against my gaming nemesis, who fired this behemoth with that particular option, ending the game with me camping on a mountain top, with my head smoking. Not a recommended look (not even for the Spirit of Jazz).

Blades of Chaos:

Surprisingly, in Gods of War, the chief “hero” (and here we use the term loosely), Kratos, is equipped with pretty much the choice weapons of mass destruction from the beginning of the game. The Blades of Chaos. Attached to a length of chain, the blades can be flung out to devastating effect, and did we forget to mention that these things are attached to Kratos’ body? Yep. They are. Admittedly the devastation isn’t quite as on a grand scale as some of the other items in this list, but the Blades are most certainly stylish, and proved to be about the most effective weapons in the game.

AWP:

Oddly, this weapon is actually titled as “The Accuracy International AWSM” (or Magnum Sniper Rifle) but, never has such a weapon been subjected to so much rage then Counter Strikes more popularly named AWP. A one shot kill weapon that made “camping” a seemingly successful strategy, and subsequently, has had its ultimate “terminal” efficiency toned down over time. With a scope and long range this weapon incited such annoyance that some CS game servers actually banned its use.

Cerebral Bore:

It’s been a long time since the release of Turok 2, but amongst the variety of gruesome weapons the Cerebral Bore, inspired by the “Tall Man’s” weapons from the movie “Phantasm”, was probably one of the reasons the game had an age rating slapped on it. This excessively nasty piece of alien technology fires a small projectile consisting of several small hook-like protrusions, a drill bit, and a powerful explosive charge. It doesn’t need much more explanation given the name of the weapon. It should be noted that it became less effective in later versions of Turok, but the distinctive whining noise was guaranteed to reduce other players to desperate sobbing, or running around like headless chickens to get away from you.

Lancer:

Gears of War, and its subsequent sequels, look fantastic, and coupled with the awesome gameplay, you, Marcus Fenix, are gifted with the awesome “Lancer”, a rugged assault rifle with a chainsaw bayonet mounted on it. Surprisingly Games Workshop didn’t call foul over the chainsaw sword rifle available in Warhammer 40K, so the Lancer has been left to become an iconic gaming weapon. An assault rifle and a chainsaw!? You can’t lose!

Gravity Gun:

Before Portal had us screaming “The cake is a lie”, Half Life 2 had already introduced us to the concept of a weapon that could grab items and then fling them around the game area with glee, the Gravity Gun. The “zero-point energy field manipulator” is gifted to the player mid way through the game, and although it was initially designed for use to handle hazardous materials, the ability to cause damage is obvious. Most notably with things like saw blades, fuel barrels and hydrogen tanks being intentionally left in the gaming arena for use as ammunition.

Morph-o-Ray:

Ratchet and Clank, developed by Insomniac Games, was an excellent game with great little twists in the gameplay. The Morph-o-Ray was allegedly Gadgetron’s failed attempt to create a disintegration ray, end result? A ray gun that would transform it’s victims into chickens. Admittedly it’s not quite as devastating as say the BFG, but none the less, still effective at eliminating danger, unless of course they’re particularly vicious chickens.

Soul Edge:

From Soul Calibur, the one the only, the behemoth that is, Soul Edge. The gaming world has always featured unfathomably large swords guaranteed to instil horrific fear in to all those who stand in your way, but Soul Edge takes the prize top prize for sheer awesomeness. With a huge demonic eye set into the base of the blade, and a little issue of it corrupting and distorting those who use it, it looks far more impressive then the sword of the Witchking of Angmar that’s for sure.

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