You can blame this travesty of an article on Edward James Olmos (Battlestar Galactica, Marvel’s Agents of Shield). I follow him on Twitter, and he tweeted this –
#AgentsofSHIELD May is a great pilot could have used her on Galactica…
My initial reaction was “oh dear god no, Starbuck from ‘Galactica’ and Agent May from ‘Shield’ in the same briefing room!?” Don’t get me wrong, Katee Sackhoff and Ming Na Wen’s portrayals of the two characters are fantastic, but the characters would just explode at each other, and the Cylons could have just sat round waiting for the inevitable carnage.
But it did make me think “Wait, what if they somehow didn’t murder each other with trays, forks, withering looks, un-ending sarcasm (delete where applicable)? What if they could work together? Or better yet, if I could have any ship from the world of TV /Film Sci Fi, if I were Commander Adama / Dylan Hunt / Malcolm Reynolds who would I crew it with?”
Thus started the nerdfest.
Firstly which ship would I choose? There is a huge, HUGE, choice. On the shortlist was Battlestar Galactica, White Star (Babylon 5) and the USS Voyager (Star Trek Voyager). But having considered a number of options, I went for the Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda). Not only did I get a ship that could destroy a planet, but I got a free AI thrown in to the bargain too. The only change? Strip out the “Slipfighters” and refit with Cylon Raiders and Colonial Vipers. “Sacrilege” I hear you shout! Tough, my ship, my toys.
So if I had to have a crew of 15 with me running the show, who would I choose? In no particular order, here they are.
V.I.N.CENT: Disney’s “Black Hole”
V.I.N.CENT (“Vital Information Necessary CENTralized”, voiced by Roddy McDowall) was the sharp shooting robot who could double as pretty much anything you needed him to be from Disney’s Sci Fi gamble, The Black Hole. For a Disney film of that time, it was pretty dark, but V.I.N.CENT seemed to be the only dependable character.
Lieutenant Commander Data: Star Trek, The Next Generation
I promise you they’re not all going to be robots and androids, honest! Brent Spiner’s Lieutenant Commander Data from Star Trek’s The Next Generation was an automatic choice, super intelligent, and seemingly capable of anything. His character grew as the Star Trek franchise rolled on, and was indispensable for Riker and Picard.
Boba Fett: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back
Complete with Jet pack, flame thrower, range finder, a tonne load of gadgets and a “been there got the t-shirt” experience, when it comes down to a fire fight, definitely want this guy on my side. Played by Jeremy Bulloch, even though Fett had a relatively small part to play he was an instant popular cult figure.
Kara “Starbuck” Thrace: Battlestar Galactica
Katee Sackhoff turned Dirk Benedict’s “Starbuck” from a loveable rogue into a tough as nails hot shot pilot who wasn’t afraid to go toe to toe with anyone. It took some adjusting to the change, but it’s fair to say, the reimaging of Galactica saw Starbuck become one of, if not the best sci fi pilot ever.
Han Solo: Star Wars
Smuggler, scoundrel, hero, Harrison Ford’s Han Solo was one of the pivotal characters in the Star Wars trilogy. A natural born leader and cool under pressure, Solo could think on his feet and react to almost any situation.
Chewbacca: Star Wars
The walking carpet / wookie, Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) was not only something of an engineer and pilot, but an intimidating sidekick standing at 8ft tall. Who exactly would argue with you when you had Chewie by your side?
Luke Skywalker: Star Wars
Ok, this may so far bit a bit heavy on the Star Wars characters, but, we’ve got hired muscle, robots and pilots. What we don’t have is essentially, a magician. The force is strong in Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Knight and rebel leader.
Beka Valentine: Andromeda
I already have the best pilot in Starbuck, but it’s always best to have a stand in. Rebecca “Beka” Valentine (played by Lisa Ryder) is almost a perfect shoe in for Starbuck, right down to being a wise cracking maverick character.
Na’Toth: Babylon 5
Struggled to find a clip of this character which was a shame, because Na’Toth was as hard as nails. With Boba Fett and Na’Toth (played by Julie Caitlin Brown) on side, your personal safety is pretty much assured. Na’Toth though, was also something of a diplomat, so you could always try and negotiate your way out of trouble before pulling the pistols.
Dr Franklin: Babylon 5
We’ve got pilots, leaders, fighters, but we also need medics, and my first choice is Dr Franklin (Richard Biggs). Strong willed, no nonsense, definitely need a doctor of his character to keep the crew in order!
The Emergency Medical Holographic programme (“The Doctor”): Star Trek, Voyager
Undoubtedly the funniest doctor ever on Star Trek, Robert Picardo’s “The Doctor” is my back up medic for when things head south. Alongside Dr Franklin, there isn’t anything they couldn’t handle.
Corporal Hicks: Aliens
While Hudson was losing it, Hicks (Michael Biehn) remained cool, which in the face of an onslaught of Xenomorphs is pretty tough! If there’s a cohort of grunts on the Andromeda, Hick’s should definitely be in charge of them.
Tyr Anasazi: Andromeda
Tyr (Keith Hamilton Cobb) had the best lines out of all of the Andromeda’s crew. Plus, in terms of hired muscle, he’s right up there with Boba Fett and co!
Montgomery “Scotty” Scott: Star Trek, The Original Series
Scotty (played by James Doohan), is by far the best engineer in the genre of Sci-fi. Anyone who can keep a space craft together whilst James T Kirk is larking about in his space ship complete with Cadillac tailfins has got to be something special right?
Dr Rodney McKay: Stargate Atlantis
Well we needed a stand in for Scotty, and it was a close run thing between Rodney and Seamus Harper from Andromeda. McKay (David Hewlett) is something of a genius, and if Scotty can’t fix it, then more than likely, McKay can sort it out.
So there we go, what I think the best crew would be for the best ship. I shall prepare myself for the onslaught of messages of “OMG, NO WAY!!” etc!